Introvert

Hello everybody!

Today I wanna write about Introvert.  What's introvert? Well, my name would be in the definition. A person who is not only shy, but has anxiety over a crowd, whether it's small or big. Whether it's around people they know or even worse, strangers.

My daughter had an award ceremony recognizing her A and B's honor roll.. So proud of her.  As I walk into the gymnasium 15 minutes early from the ceremony, there is only 3 people sitting down. Thank goodness and they didn't look my way.  I chose a seat further in the back, not only to get a better view of my daughter, but to be in the background.

As I'm waiting for the ceremony to start, more and more people keeps coming in.  I have a hard time looking up and my chest starts feeling tighter and tighter.  I keep telling myself this is for my daughter, this is for my daughter.  When I meekly look around, I see people I know, but I can't get the courage to speak to them.  I had a small break in my anxiety when the principal walks up and talks to a small group of us.  I know I'm part of it because she looks at me while she speaks of the weather.  Feeling the crushing weight ease off of my chest, I'm able to answer her questions. Then she walks off to talk to a few other people and that weight slowly returns and gets a little hard to breath and I'm near tears.

Then the students start walking in and a gush of relief settles in.  I'm watching for my daughter to walk in and when she does, my anxiety totally disappears.  She is my world and that's all who is on my mind, about how proud I am of her.

Once the ceremony ends, I give her big hugs and tell her how proud I am of her and then as I walk out of the room with my head down, I practically run for my vehicle.  At least that's what it feels like, since I really don't run..

I really hope people don't think I'm stuck up or rude.  I'm really not, I just don't do well in crowds.  That's who I am, and sometimes wish I was more of a people person.  The only place I could really look up in crowds is at work.. Now the store meetings at work is a different story, I have anxiety then.  Weird, huh?

So, if you see someone that has a hard time looking up or a person you know that is in a crowd ignoring you, it's not because they are ignoring you, it's probably because they are withdrawn in themselves trying to breath.  It's ok to go up to them and say Hi. It just might relieve them.

Have a great day everybody! Have something to say? Please do so and feel free to comment. :)